Here's a grotesque story I wrote. Very creepy, I know, but here's a first attempt at writing flash fiction... Please share your thoughts/suggestions below!
And so we sail on the lonely ocean. A luxurious dinner cruise with white table clothes. Gentlemen in suits.
It starts with the guests who got the window seats. The host approaches each guest. The first guest slices his sizzling steak, and eats it. The ritual begins.
The first guest then uses the same knife to slice his own flesh; same amount as the slice of beefsteak he ate. He puts it on his plate, passes the still-sizzling plate to the second guest, takes his suit jacket off, then jumps off the cruise ship through the window.
The host signals the next guest.
The second guest eats the first guest’s raw flesh on the plate. Cuts off the same amount of flesh as the first gentleman. He puts it on his plate, passes the still-sizzling plate to the third guest, takes his suit jacket off, then jumps off the cruise ship through the window.
The host continues the ritual.
The third guest does the same.
The host has no patience.
And the fourth. The fifth. The sixth.
The host has no mercy.
The seventh. The eighth…
…
From a reader who emailed his comments to me (thank you!! -- sharing here as I love the interpretation from this reader):
I read some of your recent articles. Your writings are wonderful!! The most impressive one is your flash fiction “Dreamscape”, because it reminds me of the Hindu story “ Shibi “ . ( I don’t know much about the Hindu, I just have read the story in Japanese book in my childhood. It is very difficult for me to explain this story in English, so I’m sending you wikipedia link as shown below for your information. I think that the content of this page is not enough, and that the core concept of the story is not the same as your story, but I hope this page would help you.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shibi_(king)
Anyway, I interpret this story as our world itself.
I mean, “the lonely ocean” represents the whole universe, “a luxurious dinner cruise” represents the earth, and "the guests” represents us.
What does “ the host" represent? is a difficult question. My answer is that it represents the systems we created in our world.(such as economic systems, political systems, or other systems that define our societies, social relationships and cultures, etc,,,)
Let’s take Capitalism for example. Capitalism will keep going without concerning about us. It could match with the last paragraph of your story.
We, human beings, have to survive the cruel world at the sacrifice of others (sometimes of ourselves).
I think your story shows this fact symbolically and figuratively.
Another interesting part of the story is the repeatedly used phrase “ the still-sizzling plate”.
I’m not sure what you intended to express, but the words seem to have important meanings to express the movement of time.